The Love Wrapped Inside My Father’s Arms
Just looking at these two photos, separated by three decades, I’m overwhelmed to think of how it still just seems like yesterday that my dad was loading up the station wagon, ready to drive me and our soccer team all across the back roads of Texas as we competed across the state, trying our best to stand out.
When our children are presented to us right after they are born, we take extra care to swaddle them with both our arms, to fully protect them from any external harm. It’s no wonder, then, that when our youngsters see Mom or Dad approaching, their reaction is to open both of their little arms as wide as they can, as though they were an airplane soaring through the air.
Reaching their destination, they wrap those little arms tightly around our necks (if we are sitting) or our legs if we are standing. They hug like there’s no tomorrow and they don’t let go until they are sure you know how much they love you. Although I lost my dad early in my adult years, I was fortunate to have him as long as I did.
From the time that he could begin to show me how to grow up, my dad was always focused on preparing me for where we would go, who we could expect to see there, etc. He would let me know if new people were there, or whether we’d see old friends. Sometimes I catch myself doing that with Rowen as we go down the road to visit with friends.
I wonder whether growing up in “today’s world” will seem like a challenge to Rowen. I learned to tell time on a clock in our school classroom. Today we have digital readouts everywhere. Some things are important to learn in case our batteries wear down or the power goes out, so I’m making a list of things to teach him to learn at grass roots level, just as my dad taught me.
Mostly, the life lessons I remember are ones I observed from him and through his actions, rather than the words he said. To be sure, he lived his life as he believed and didn’t compromise his values for anyone. When he gave his word, he meant it. He learned that from his dad, too. Now, my father and his dad had a good relationship, but it was different than the one we shared and the one I share with Rowen. Four generations apart, I think Rowen and I do the most talking with words.
Every generation has a unique advantage in learning from the one before. I’m excited to think about the kind of creative adult he is going to grow into becoming. Rowen loves to read, and he loves to color. We share those traits for certain. When he is learning something for the first time, I try to be as patient with him as my dad was with me. Most importantly, the best lessons are ones learned over time, if they’re going to last a lifetime.
One thing that I can always count on is that children forgive if you make a mistake, as long as you are willing to admit that you did it. That’s an act of grace that they show us. If only we were as willing to admit our mistakes as children are. It’s been said that children really don’t know how to lie—they are guileless, which is refreshing, to be sure!
My greatest wish for Rowen, as he grows up, is that he finds the parenting that Chelsea and I are working to provide is understood as us doing our best, with love, to teach him skills and things about people that will bring him a lifetime of loving God and going to Him in prayer, in being thankful for what you have, and willing to work long, hard hours to keep it, and to remember that many people rely on our business to be there for them in times of the days and nights that might keep us from being present at some of the times that are important to them.
I take comfort in thinking that we are not alone in this part of parenting and that the generations who have gone before us have an active part in looking out for all those we love, as heavenly angels that we can count on to be with us on our journey.
Happy Father’s Day to all of you who have devoted a part of your lives to helping young people grow up safely and secure in the fact that they are loved, unconditionally, for the rest of their lives. Together we can make things better for this new and growing generation—one new lesson a day at a time.
May we never outgrow the joy and wonder of those amazing hugs.
Cody D. Jones ‘02
Owner & Community Member
